Only 'Till the End
by mfaun
Summary: Ever wonder how James, Sirius, and Peter told Remus that they knew what he was?


Remus Lupin sat alone in the Gryffindor common room, curled up in his favorite chair, with his favorite book, listening to his favorite sound. Quietness. It seemed like the only time that he could really spend any time alone was when everybody else was asleep... or once a month in Hogsmeade, but that wasn't the same kind of alone. Remus enjoyed being alone, when alone meant bonding time between himself, a book, and a warm fire. Not when he was forced to be alone, to protect others...  
  
But none of that bothered him at the moment. He wasn't going to let it. Not when there was still plenty of quiet time with his book before he had to actually go to sleep so that he could more or less function in class the next day.  
  
A few soft clicks sounded behind him, and Remus knew all to well what was there. He was usually one of the people creating this sound. It was the sound of a couple of students trying to sneak up the stairs from the boys dorm rooms while making as little noise as possible. He could only think of three people who would actually be trying to get out of their dorms at this hour, and contemplated keeping quiet until they went wherever they were going to, but reconsidered. If his three best friends were behind him (which he was sure it was), then they were either looking for him, trying to stir up some trouble, or looking for him so that they could go stir up some trouble.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes and snapped his book shut loud enough so that they knew where he was sitting. He watched three figures walk around the fairly large chair he had claimed for himself. Sure enough, James, Sirius and Peter walked around the table and sat down at the couch across from Remus.  
  
"Hey guys. What're you doing up so late?" Remus tried to sound cheerful, but his friends were acting differently then normal. They were never this quiet, even when they were trying to sneak out of the common room late at night to prank some unsuspecting teacher. He slid his book onto the table separating himself from his friends and forced a smile.  
  
"Hey, uh... Remus." James started, playing with the corner end of his sweater, "We've been talking, the three of us, and well..."  
  
"We have some theories about where you're always running off to." Sirius finished his best friend's sentence and looked up at Remus, waiting for a response.  
  
Remus could feel the blood drain out of his face, and for a moment he felt nauseous, but he forced himself to take control again looked at the three blankly. "But... you guys know where I go. My mum's sick."  
  
"What's she have?" Peter asked weekly.  
  
Remus took one good look at Peter, and it was apparent that he didn't want to be in the current situation at all. 'That's one thing we have in common' he thought and then looked back up to his friends. "It's hard to explain...but..."  
  
"A lot of things are hard to explain." James cut him off.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like how you're always gone the night of the full moon, and how you always come back looking like you've gotten into a fight with some while animal!" Sirius snapped.  
  
For a few moment the four just sat there, glued to their seats, waiting for somebody to say something. Waiting for somebody else to make the next move. Meanwhile Remus's mind bounced from thought to thought. 'They know!' 'How did they find out?' 'What if they tell somebody?' 'What if I'm kicked out of school?' 'What if they refuse to talk to me again?' He felt himself go pale again, and the nausea game back, but this time he couldn't force himself to take control.  
  
"E...Excuse me." He mumbled, turning around and running from the room, leaving James, Sirius and Peter sitting in the common room feeling slightly shocked, slightly guilty, and very nervous about what their next chat with Remus would bring.  
  
They stood up and started back towards the dorm room, to try and get some sleep. Sleep though, wouldn't be likely to happen after what had just happened. James was last to pull himself from the sofa, and before he'd taken three steps he spotted the book Remus had been reading before the three of them had showed up. He scooped it up so that it wouldn't get lost and followed Sirius and Peter back to bed.  
  
To nobody's surprise, Remus wasn't anywhere to be seen. James sighed and left the book on his friend's bed, and then crawled into his own, hoping the next day would go a little better.

* * *

The next morning they still couldn't find Remus, but James did notice that the book was missing from his bed. 'He must have taken it while we were still asleep. I'll just talk to him at breakfast' he thought as he got dressed, but when he arrived at the great hall Remus wasn't at his usual spot. In fact, he wasn't at the Gryffindor table at all. James exchanged some nervous glances with Sirius and Peter, and ate breakfast in more or less silence.  
  
Remus was in class, but he was sitting next to Lily, and James arrived late, making it fairly difficult to talk to his friend. After class James planned to talk to him again, but never got a chance. Remus was out of the room before anybody else even had their bag packed.  
  
James threw his bag over his shoulder. It didn't seem like Remus really wanted to talk to him at the moment. He wondered if this was the same for Sirius and Peter. He'd just have to remember to ask them about it later.  
  
As he stepped out into the hallway he saw a wave of red and was suddenly being dragged back into the classroom. Usually, James would have fought this off, but his mood was making him more groggy then usual, and he simply wasn't in the mood to fight with anything.  
  
"What did you do to him?"  
  
"What?!... Oh" Lily Evans was standing in front of James, arms crossed, looking more then slightly angry. Instinctively he went to mess up his hair a bit.  
  
"Oh, stop that! What did you do to him?" she repeated.  
  
"Do to who?"  
  
"Remus, idiot!"  
  
James froze for a moment. "Nothing. We didn't do anything to him."  
  
"'We'? Jeez. What did you morons do this time?"  
  
"I told you! We didn't do anything!" He tried to defend himself, but it was utterly pointless arguing with Lily.  
  
"Fine. Don't tell me. But just so you so called 'friends of his' know, he's avoiding everybody and refusing to speak."  
  
With that she turned on her heal and walked from the room, leaving a speechless James alone in the dim classroom

* * *

The common room seemed louder then usual that night for some reason. Perhaps it was because he was sitting alone and trying to concentrate on his book and not the world around him, or maybe it was because he was finding it hard to concentrate on anything at all. Either way Remus was beginning to get a headache from all of the noise, and wished very much that he could simply disappear.  
  
After nearly an hour of fighting to read, and only getting through five pages he gave up and allowed his mind to wonder. He kept his eyes on the pages though, as he found that people would leave you alone if they think that you're trying to do something, and they usually didn't notice if you stayed on the same page for an extended period of time.  
  
As the hours crept by, people started to leave the common room, and after a while Remus found himself alone. 'Everybody must be asleep by now' he thought shoving his book back into his bag and walking toward the boys dorm.  
  
He snuck down the stairs, hoping that he would be able to get into bed without anybody noticing, and then be able to wake up early enough to not have to talk to anybody. As he got to the door of the room with his bed in it he could hear voices. 'They must still be awake.' But as he started to turn around and wait in the common room for them to fall asleep he was stopped short by his name. They weren't talking loud enough to be trying to get his attention, so he was obviously the subject of discussion. Remus leaned on the wall and listened in on what they were saying. 'I'd bed they're talking about what a freak I am.' He moped to himself.  
  
"Have either of you seen Remus today?" Peter asked quietly.  
  
"Yea. But not for very long, and he didn't give me a chance to talk to him" James answered.  
  
"Ditto" said Sirius.  
  
"I hope he's all right..." it was Peter again.  
  
"He'll be fine." Sirius retorted shortly.  
  
"How do you know?" said Peter.  
  
"Eventually, he'll get bored of being alone and not talking to anybody." Sirius shrugged.  
  
"Or we'll corner him and force him to talk to us," said James. "Whatever comes first."  
  
"Nah. He'll come back on his own." Said Sirius.  
  
"How do you know?" Peter was pouting a little.  
  
"Two reasons." Remus could hear the smile in Sirius's voice. "One, it's what friends do."  
  
"Okay. And what's number two?" James sounded tired.  
  
"Two, he's standing outside the door."  
  
Remus froze for a moment and contemplated running, but decided better against it. That would make too much noise, and it wouldn't do any good. He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "How did you know I was there?"  
  
"I saw your shadow under door." Sirius beamed at his own cleaverness.  
  
"Oh." For a few minuets they stayed still in uncomfortable silence, which was broken by Sirius, annoyed that they were being so quiet.  
  
"Look, I'll just cut to the chase. Are you a werewolf?"  
  
"Well so much for being tactful!" James threw a pillow at Sirius.  
  
"What? That's what this is all about, right?" Sirius threw it back "Well Remus, are you?"  
  
Peter squirmed a bit, but James and Sirius kept his gaze on Remus, who was looking at the floor. "Yes." He whispered after a pause, looking rather pained to have to say it. "Yes, I am."  
  
"Why didn't you tell us?" James asked after a short pause.  
  
Remus didn't answer.  
  
"Afraid we'd ditch you?" Sirius probed.  
  
"Yea. Kinda...."  
  
"Idiot." James threw his pillow again, this times at Remus. "Like we'd ever do that."  
  
Remus picked up the pillow and smiled. "Yea. I guess it was stupid." He walked over and smacked James in the head with it. "But, you guys can't tell anybody, okay? Not a soul." They all nodded or promised that they'd keep it quiet in one way or another.  
  
"So?" Peter finally spoke up again.  
  
"So what?" Remus looked questioningly over at the small pudgy blond boy they considered their friend for some reason.  
  
"So, what's it like? Being a werewolf and all?"  
  
Remus just smiled. "It's .... Different."  
  
"Shut up Peter" Sirius Said shortly.  
  
"What?" Peter whined.  
  
"Lets just go to sleep. I'll tell you guys about it in the morning. Kay?" 


End file.
